"insane people are always sure that they are fine. it is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." -- nora ephron

as i sit here, typing, i’m still not sure what i should even say, or what will come out.

but that’s half the fun, right?

before i really get into the nitty gritties, i should probably clear up a few things (one, to be exact)

reason for my blogging hiatus: lack of a working computer and lack of time.

now that we have all that cleared up…

let’s see. what has happened since the last time we were together?

oh yeah.

i got a job. (aka: i am now the breadwinner as well as tayte's sugar mama. and proud of it)

also we moved to murray.

we miss our friends in provo, but so far this move has been a good thing. we have really enjoyed the change of scenery, as well as the opportunity to seriously consider getting ferrets. (like, as pets). maybe a cat. we’re just really happy where we are. tayte loves the feeling of having a place in our new ward (especially in the nursery—not a joke), and he is also obsessed with the open space in our apartment. i love our apartment too, especially now that everything has dried and the pictures have been hung and we feel like we have officially moved in. we love living closer to tayte's familia. and to top it all off, our neighbors across the street are relatively quiet, which is always appreciated.

note: we live across the street from the murray cemetery.

tayte’s research is going swimmingly. he still looks at dirt, and he still loves it. and he’s gonna graduate in april, and that’s about all I know.

note #2: on a quick pitstop or some gas on our way home from san diego, i got locked in craig’s car, and i had no idea how to get out. that is not a joke.

i absolutely love my job. it is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life (including cutting bread and taking hot things out of the oven), but it is the most rewarding. and no, my new job is not motherhood. although in a weird way, it kind of is. i teach math to high schoolers. they can’t wait to come to my class so they can learn math, which is their favorite subject, and they are always quiet and respectful and they never use snapchat during class and i love every one of them every day and i never yell or get upset.

ha.

but i really do love it. only one time ever since i started my student teaching have i woken up and not wanted to go and teach, and that was after an inexplicably hard day that left me feeling like a total failure. thankfully i was able to get over that. i’m excited to go and see those hooligans every single day.

don’t worry. i don’t get it either.

note #3: yes, i am human and i would rather stay in bed forever then get out of bed and do anything else. i literally have to force myself to get out of bed every morning. it's actually kind of pathetic.

you may think that i'm crazy. you may be turning to the person next to you, saying "you tell her. someone has to tell her."

and you'd be right.

crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

i’m just excited to get better. i have really good days, really bad days, and a lot of days in between. when i have really good days, it gives me a glimpse of what i can be, and it makes me giddy. (the use of that word is not an exaggeration. it really isn’t) i feel a sense of pride whenever i talk to my principal and he tells me how good i’m doing, even though it’s my first year and that he doesn't want to see me go.

description of this principal character: a perfect mix of my dad (picks on me whenever he can, especially if it’s about the cougars) and dick van dyke (ridiculously tall and full head of white hair. also he’s funny), with a hint of a grandpa (not necessarily because he’s old, he’s just friendly and you can’t help but like him)

anywho, i really do feel like i get better every day. i have learned what does and doesn't work for me and for my students. i have great coworkers that answer all my questions (i think they feel like they have to ever since they found out that they have daughters that are my age. something about motherly instincts)

i have about million and a half stories of students and the things they've said and done. i won’t share them all right here, right now—i’ll write a book someday. but here is the best one yet. this wasn't said to my face, but a teacher I eat lunch with told me all about it. Apparently she was talking about me to some of her students, and one of the students said, “mrs. Campbell...she can be a b****, but she’s the coolest teacher.” i was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day.

you may think that’s a weird compliment and that i should be offended. or at least shouldn't be as pleased about that. 

and you would be right. 

but it must be a high school teacher thing, because it took a really long time to wipe that smile off my face.

i keep adding to this, and i think i should just post it. 

it does seem appropriate that i post it on brigham’s birthday.

brigham (brig-um), n: one of my nephews, the only person that checks this blog with ridiculous frequency.

happy birthday, brigham. may your day be filled with cake, presents, and drinks in a certain green cup.