I have found myself thanking my lucky stars (to be livin here today)

The following post is an excerpt from my journal (minus all the scratch-outs because frankly, I don't want to lose your trust that english truly was my first language, plus--I don't really know how to do that). This event was a turning point in my life, so please don't take to too lightly.

PS - Before this excerpt, I hadn't written in about 5 months...aka I'm not an avid journal writer, so keep that in mind as you ponder the vastness of the event) Also, any comments that I have made as I type will be in a different color.

Here we go

12/27/08

My life has just been into perspective. (I think I meant to say "put into perspective" but you can never be too sure) I felt like I should record my near death experiences. So here we go.

Mom, Hna. Reyes, and I were upstairs chillin like the villains we are. We had just watched the Emma Smith movie (this is an important tidbit b/c it shows I was already a bit emotional). I suddenly got that urge that we all get at some times in our lives (unless you're a Cullen, but --- oh boy. Now I can't think straight). Anyway so since we were in our little theatre-thing upstairs I went to use the master bathroom. Keep in mind that the parents haven't moved upstairs b/c their mattress looks like someone stashed a body in it. (Don't worry there isn't one...at least I don't think so... See the picture that looks like a mattress with a body stashed in it so you can see what a mattress that looks like a body is stashed in it must look like.

Anyway, so I go to close the door but it doesn't close easily. So I used my strength to push it closed. When I finally got it closed, it was extremely loud. (you know how sometimes you close the door lightly but there's wind so it's like you slammed the door and the next thing you know your mom is there telling you need to cool it or else? Take that plus if someone had actuallyslammed the door--basically it was loud and that's where it began). Yes there were some grammar mistakes I didn't correct...what can I say? I'm on vacation and quite lazy. I'm not quite sure why I spent so much energy describing how loud the door was...whatever. I'm a bit emotionally unstable.

So I do my business and wash my hands, but there aren't any towels (important). I go to open the door but it doesn't open. I do everything I can. We're talking Tenery is horizontal, feet on the wall, pulling as hard as she can, but nothing. (not really, but it wouldn't have worked anyway)Anyway so I knock on the door and finally mom comes and is like "Are you stuck" and I'm like "nooo" jk I really didn't say that. After the hanger and hotel room card (we have a bad habit of keeping those) ideas appeared fruitless, mom's like "well, you're gonna have to take off the hinges" and I'm like "how the heck am I supposed to do that?" and she just laughs. I go to the window but of course it's the only window on the second story with nothing under it (but cement and hard-rock ground naturally) (I think I might have meant to say rock-hard, but again, you can never be certain) Plus I'm too big to fit through the slats. I would have taken them off but that wouldn't have done me any good. Oh yeah, there's the problem that the screwdriver won't fit under the door, or I would've taken off the doorknob.

So there's me, laughin in the bathroom, looking at everything all tile-ish and thinking "I don't know how this can even work! (I was tempted to say "I don't know how to do this" but it didn't fit) There's not a towel or even a rug-this could get painful!" The thought also crossed my mind that the only way to get food to me was to create a pulley system so I could just pull it through the window. Needless to say, I was grateful for the water in the faucet and the toilet.

Thankfully, mom has raised 10 kids and know a bit more about life than most folks--ok, so a lot more. She told me to try the hanger again, from the bottom this time, and the door finally opened! Yay for wire hangers adn women that have 10 kids! Maybe I'll write her a thank you note...

and yes that is how I ended it. I apologize for the grammar mistakes and the apparent verb issues that were going on, but hey, what're gonna do? I easily could have been stuck in there for the rest of my life, which would have been cut extremely short!! Anyway, I just thought I'd show you all that the experiences we have in this house are very far from ordinary!!

For those of you that couldn't tell, this is the picture of the mattress that looks that someone stashed a body in it for those of you with absolutely no imagination whatsoever.

This is a picture of the offending bathroom---very offensive, trust me. Note the lack of anything soft. The toilet is next to the tub (in the corner) and the sinks are to the left...pretty much ridiculous!

Well that's all I have to say...maybe sometime in the future I'll think about considering making the effort to create a post so I can post it on the blog. Until then, I leave you.